Almost exactly
two months ago I visited a library near my school, and thought I would drive
around the neighborhood. Oh my! I found a house that I liked and called a
realtor whose name I had kept. Through
personal soul searching and persistent paperwork I now own this house. I may write about it later, but now I only want
to share that I am moving in a couple of weeks.
I am leaving my home of thirty-four years. I am crazed, sad, excited, exhilarated,
nostalgic, and hopeful.
It’s
difficult to be in the middle of such an emotional event and also write about
it. I am not yet ready with words that will
express the meaning of leaving a place so full of memories. I will, just not today. I was given several poetry anthologies that
are about home as friends realized I might be looking. My husband has been ill for several years and
is no longer in the home with me, so it has become time to look for something
different. My new home is close to my
work, close to my husband and close to my daughter, and it is going to be a
good, good place to grow into.
What I have recently
discovered is a book about moving written for children, titled Moving Day by Ralph Fletcher,
illustrated by Jennifer Emery. It covers
the goodness of the place they are leaving, the friends and the grandparents,
as well as the toughness when considering the weather in the new place, leaving
friends, leaving grandparents. It talks
about the emptiness of the house when everything is gone, and the new house
with its strangeness, waiting to see if it will fit. It is perfect. Although I am not young and moving two states
away, bits and pieces of these poems have touched me. I want to share just one poem and if you know
of others experiencing such a change, share the book’s title, please.
This poem is
titled Defrosting The Freezer, and begins
One container of spaghetti sauce
Grandma made before she died.
You can find
the rest here.
As you might
imagine, each part connects to my move as I clean out, prepare for some kind of
estate sale of those things I am not taking, give away much, throw away bags
full. Many parts will not physically
travel with me, but much will travel in my memories. One cannot live in a home; create what works
for a family and a life without saying numerous goodbyes. It is a journey that I willingly take, and fortunately for me, poetry has been my companion all along the way.
photo credit: bjornmeansbear via photopin cc
Linda,
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy your new home and all the new experiences. I hope it inspires lots of poetry.
I find it serendipity that you gave us a poem from Ralph Fletcher's MOVING DAY. Just half an hour ago I was looking for my copy of William Hook's LEGEND OF WHITE DOE, a mythical story about Virginia Dare. I wanted to tie this to the Indians helping with the first Thanksgiving. I couldn't find the book on my messy book shelves. I have too many books! But I did have Fletcher's book in my hands and thought, I'd like to re-read this. And now you've got me reading it. Sure wish you were here to have a cup of tea with me while we shared children's poetry. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. Good post.
What a lovely invitation, Joy. I wish we could share our books too! This time moving I hope I will be able to organize much better, & find things more readily. Thank you for telling me about the search; it gives me shivers when I hear something like that!
DeleteWhat a beautiful post, Linda, and that poem -- oh my. I threw out so many things (not just physical things, either) when I moved from NYC to Italy eleven years ago, and although I would never move back, a certain nostalgia has become a palpable part of me. Being closer to your husband, daughter, and work is such a good thing, though! I wish you the best in your move and hope you adjust quickly. I look forward to hearing more about it through your poetry. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Renee. It's good to hear that others had such feelings when they moved. And going across an ocean also means other kinds of goodbyes. I'm glad to know it was a good move.
DeleteI love Moving Day by Fletcher. I haven't moved in some time but have noticed their is always excitement mixed with sadness on those days, and more so after you've been in a house for 34 years. I will be thinking about you!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Katherine. I love Ralph Fletcher, but didn't know this book! What a discovery.
DeleteWhen we moved out of our first home, which we'd lived in for 18 years, it was definitely a mix of feelings, as you say -- sadness and nostalgia at leaving friends and neighbors behind, and your sense of roots with so many memories attached. But of course there was excitement at starting something new and anticipation of what adventures lay ahead. I didn't know whether I'd miss the old house once I moved into the new one -- and found to my surprise that I didn't miss the physical house itself (we'd outgrown it). Now it exists in my mind's eye; I can picture all the rooms just as they were decorated, each with its own set of great time memories.
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you as you make this transition. Happy to know you'll be closer to work and those you love. Thanks for sharing Fletcher's poem and good luck!
Thank you so much Jama, for sharing your own experience. I am sad to leave, but certainly much is wrapped up in all that has happened in the past year, not just the house move. And so I am excited to have some new inspiration in my life.
DeleteLinda, a bittersweet entry today. I agree that my poetry books- are dear companions. Will think of you during this time. Sounds like you're close to a library as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jone-yes, just a block away is a wonderful library. I am so lucky in this location! And poetry does keep me good indeed!
DeleteI wish you the best of luck in your new home and hope that you are soon busy creating new and beautiful memories there. May your poetry be a comfort to you through the many changes ahead.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan-I have many blessings & poetry is among them too.
DeleteLinda--
ReplyDeleteWhat a bittersweet time. Good to be closer to family, your work, and your husband, and yet hard to leave the memories of a lifetime. And yes, I agree with you, Ralph captures that feeling perfectly. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help- I pack a mean box!
Carol
Thank you Carol. I think (hope) I have plenty of help so far. But I also hope we live closer to each other now, & perhaps you'd like to come by to visit, or I know that I'm now closer to Tattered Cover! I will be in the Lowry Area. I hope you and the boys got to be together this Thanksgiving!
DeleteI will have to look for this book. I have seen all too many moving days of my own, and I wish you all the best with yours. The goodbyes and hellos are all difficult, but it sounds like a good change for you. Hoping to hear more about it soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ruth, it's nice to hear from others who have made changes. I will be writing, perhaps often!
DeleteI admire your courage and your fortitude, Linda, in acknowledging that you need a change, that very subtle turning of the seasons in our lives that could bring so much pain because it also signals growth - an expansion of the mind and the spirit that could both be beautiful, wistful, painful - yet makes us feel so alive. And so grateful for the fact that we always have choices in our lives.
ReplyDeleteWe're pretty seasoned when it comes to moving from one place to the next. But our move here to Singapore more than four years ago was definitely a life-changing one for all of us. I'm sure yours would change too in more glorious ways than one. *Hugs*
It's amazing to hear that you only moved 4 years ago. When you write, it often sounds like you've been there for a long time, Myra. Thanks for the heartfelt words.
DeletePeace be with you through this move and the settling in process.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we'll be able to connect at TC this summer when I'm home!
Thank you Mary Lee. I hope we will be able to meet finally this summer.
DeleteLinda,
ReplyDeleteThe poem is gorgeous, but I am most struck by your bravery. I hope the transition goes smoothly.
All the best,
Liz
Thanks Liz. I am always hopeful! There are many good things about this move.
DeleteThinking of you during this big transition. I understand what you mean when you say, "I am not yet ready with words." It is a process and I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks Betsy. Life is always interesting, isn't it?
DeleteThinking of you and sending you a mental hug!
ReplyDeleteMany thanks to you, Tabatha. It's always nice to hear from you.
DeleteYou are such a strong woman! Thank you for sharing this powerful transition with all of us...I know you haven't found all the words yet, but you have let us have a window, a peek. It is both painful and joyous, to leave one home and move to another. How lovely that you will be nearer to your husband, your daughter, your school. It is the right thing to do, the right time. Life is change.
ReplyDeleteI agree Maureen. Thank you for this awesome support. As you & others & I said, a mix of good & not so good, but I am looking forward to the next step. It'll be good!
DeleteLinda, I hope your new home grows to be the perfect fit for your life.
ReplyDeleteI love this book--blogged a poem from it in 2010 at http://laurasalas.livejournal.com/213510.html. What a good companion for you during this time!
Wonderful Laura. I'll go over to read what you said. Ralph Fletcher is definitely a favorite of mine. Thank you!
DeleteYour post and especially Fletcher's poem take me back to the time in 2006 when we moved my mom from an apartment to assisted living. Though the place wasn't mine, I felt many of the same emotions, had the place been mine. I wrote poems about that time too... but you're right. Sometimes the situation needs to come to a resolution before we can write about it. All the best in your move. Live every moment so you can live it again in poetry!
ReplyDeleteViolet N.
So sweet to my ears hearing your story, too, Violet. The transitions are emotional to capture, yet I believe capture them we must. As in Fletcher's poem and so many others, he found a way to show those feelings so well. Thank you!
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