David L. Harrison hosts several ideas for writing poetry on his website, including the Word of the Month. This month the W.O.M is 'train'. When I sat to write, I thought I would write about my husband's father who was a Union Pacific engineer and told many stories about his travels. However, the pencil traveled to a different story/memory. Then, for last week's Poetry Friday, Jeannine Atkins wrote a beautifully inspiring post she termed "deepening", about revising one's poems. It helped me do a little more with the poem. If you missed Jeannine's post, return to read! I'm not sure it's finished yet, but it is a poem I enjoyed writing, will enjoy sharing it.
One
Moment
I ran with my husband,
late for the train
across platforms and tracks.
Engines hissed,
bumbled and buzzed, and we stumbled
in and out of shadows.
The engine roared,
so loud I startled.
We watched the train pull forward.
Click, clack, click, clack!
Click, clack, click, clack!
We ran faster.
My new husband whistled.
The conductor looked out,
and pulled a lever.
Wheels screeched,
slowed,
stopped.
I wondered at the whistle’s power,
yet even more,
I marveled at this skill,
unknown to me.
And then grabbed the arm
of the mysterious man
I called my husband.
Linda
Baie © All Rights Reserved
photo credit: Takeshi
Garcia via photopin cc
Hi Linda, I always love your poems - filled with energy and bursting with memories laced with nostalgia. I love trains. I love journeys. Thank you for sharing this snapshot down memory lane with us. It made me smile today.
ReplyDeleteThank you Myra. I've had a few train journeys through the years and they were always fun.
DeleteLinda-
ReplyDeleteLove this image, especially the last few lines, starting with "I wondered at the whistle's power…"! And you made me wonder if I might have some train poems waiting to be written….
Thank you, Carol. I hope you do write some!
DeleteLinda, you've captured such a great moment in your poem, and I too loved Jeannine's post. Love where these things brought you in your writing. Keep going! xo
ReplyDeleteThanks, Irene. It was an interesting poem to work with, and I will keep on!
DeleteThis is a great poem,Linda. I think each time you write a poem I like it better than the last. I love all the emotions and images this poem brings--especially that learning that takes place early in your marriage....
ReplyDeleteIt really was a surprise when this memory appeared-hadn't thought about that time in years! Thanks, Deb!
DeleteHi, Linda. Last weekend was our 22nd anniversary. Your poem totally captures how I felt at the beginning of our marriage -- like I was embarking on a journey with someone who (after 6 years together) felt new to me. Beautiful poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura. It was a mystery, wasn't it? You're so right.
DeleteAll these images and the loving gaze I imagined between newlyweds was wonderful. Beautiful piece Linda.
ReplyDeleteThanks Betsy, new relationships are all about the mystery aren't they? And that's a good thing!
DeleteWonderful poem, Linda -- love the moment of recognition at the end. I've always liked the romance of trains, so this poem about you as a newlywed was twice as nice. Felt like I was right there :) . . .
ReplyDeleteThank you Jama. They are so romantic, aren't they? Lots of past movie scenes come to mind!
DeleteStriking poem, Linda. I was surprised when I came to the second stanza to read the phrase "new husband." That turned out to be pivotal to this poem. Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carmela. It was rather surprising to me when I finally thought through why I was writing this memory, a surprise, which I guess all newlyweds have with one thing or another. And not always so pleasant!
DeleteYou captured those frantic feelings of running late and mixed in a new marriage, quite a twist.
ReplyDeleteThanks Margaret. I'm glad "it" arrived & I captured the moment!
DeleteWonderful! What a great memory, that time when "husband" and "mysterious" go together.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ruth. Wouldn't it be interesting to ask others what circumstance made that happen?
DeleteLinda,
ReplyDeleteI love all the layers you've built into this poem. Well done.
Thank you, Joy. As I wrote above, it was a pleasure to write.
DeleteI love this post, Linda! I missed Jeannine's post last week and I'm glad you directed me to it. So much wisdom. And your poem! The last two lines are perfect. I can picture the look on your face as you began you and your husband began your journey together. Thanks so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteCatherine
Thanks Catherine. So happy to send you to Jeannine's poetry post! Have a great weekend!
DeleteWonderful poem! I love the rhythm and urgency, and the ending is perfect. What a lovely memory!
ReplyDeleteThank you Iza. It was a pleasure to do.
DeleteWhat a wonderful moment, Linda. Beautifully captured. I missed reading the roundup last Friday. Must go back and read Jeannine's.
ReplyDeleteThanks Doraine-hope you'll enjoy reading it!
DeleteWhat a fabulous memory, captured so eloquently!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary Lee.
DeleteYour vivid poem reminds me of when my husband and I, also new in our relationship, traveled around Switzerland by train. You capture the breathless romance beautifully. Thank you for bringing back those wonderful memories for me, Linda.
ReplyDeleteWow-it would be great to write about some of those Michelle-what a lovely time you must have had! Thank you!
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