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Thursday, September 5, 2024

Poetry Friday - Goodbyes Made Sadder

It's Poetry Friday, and Buffy Silverman is hosting HERE on her blog by the same name.  She is giving us a delightful peek at her new book, which is coming out next week! See the cover above! Don't miss it! Congratulations and thanks for hosting, Buffy!

              I wrote this a few days ago, before Wednesday, September 4th. It's not a happy post, but I thought many of you would like to know the poem my husband chose to be read at his funeral. He passed away eleven years ago on September 4th, a day I won't forget, though I will also remember the good memories of our life together for many years. 
          Now, with the grief of missing my husband, I am also filled with sorrow for those whose loved ones died Wednesday. And, I am angry that our country cannot make changes, especially to protect our beautiful children and also adults who have left their loved ones way too soon. You know the arguments, all of them.   
             The poem is The Long Boat by Stanley Kunitz  Here, on his 100th birthday, he is reading it.

      The Long Boat

When his boat snapped loose
from its mooring, under
the screaking of the gulls,
he tried at first to wave
to his dear ones on shore,
but in the rolling fog
they had already lost their faces.
Too tired even to choose
between jumping and calling,
somehow he felt absolved and free
of his burdens, those mottoes
stamped on his name-tag:
conscience, ambition, and all
that caring.

        the rest is HERE





20 comments:

  1. Sending much love, Linda. What a powerful, lulling poem. (BTW - I couldn't get the link to the rest of the poem to work, but it's easy to find.) In your words and beautiful thoughts, Artie lives on for those of us who never got to meet him. And your caring for those whom you've never met always shines brightly. xo

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    1. Thanks, Robyn, I've loved the poem for a long time, glad that you liked it! Thanks for the heads up. I fixed the link!

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    2. (And, sorry - should have typed more carefully. Arvie, not Artie!)

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    3. No worries, Robyn. Sometimes our fingers do it so automatically!

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  2. Sending love and extra hugs your way, Linda. What a poem! Hadn't seen it before; it certainly is very poignant and so appropriate for the events of this week. Can't believe it's been 11 years since Arvie's passing; am grateful you've kept his memory alive by sharing him with us. He couldn't have chosen a more powerful, meaningful poem. Very moving to hear Kunitz read it too. Hoping hoping hoping there will be changes to gun laws with the next administration. Can't fathom how some continue to justify allowing our children to feel scared and unsafe at school.

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    1. Thank you, Jama. When a loved one passes on, the memories stay, and I am grateful for them. The terrible shootings on this day I was remembering really caught me, and sadly, as so many others have. I am angry that we cannot find a way to change.

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  3. What an exquisite poem--that ending, the desire to stay. Thinking of you and wishing the warm memories bring you comfort even amongst the anger (in Kunitz's words, we can't feel "absolved and free
    of his burdens, those mottoes
    stamped on his name-tag:
    conscience, ambition, and all
    that caring."
    Thanks also for celebrating with me and sharing my new baby's cover.

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  4. Linda, I am here with tears running down my cheeks, imagining your husband choosing this poem. I am so sorry for your loss and for all of your years of missing him as well as the losses of those in Georgia. Sadness to deep and broad for words.

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  5. I love Kunitz's ending lines to "The Long Boat," "he loved the earth so much/he wanted to stay forever." Beautiful and meaningful reading he shared with all, thanks for sharing it with us. Also for sharing your husband/hero sensitive poem selection/interaction. Sending some hugs and love your way Linda xox.

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  6. Thanks, Buffy, Tracey, & Michelle. I've been out! It's a beautiful day, really beginning to feel the change! I'm glad you loved the poem, so special for so many!

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  7. I hope you are feeling the love of near-and-dear ones, and those of us who can only offer our hearts from afar. What a beautiful poem, Linda. xo

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  8. Oh, my goodness...that poem. I had not read that before. I was a bit unprepared for how hard it would hit me. It's so lovely and comforting. Thank you for sharing that. My goodness, 11 years. Thank you for sharing a bit of your grief walk with such kindness. It really does help those of us who are less familiar. Poetry is like that...you are like that. You are poetry.

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  9. Linda, I'm getting close to the age my mom was when my dad passed. The enormity of how she carried on for 20+ more years without her best friend, confidante, true love is only apparent to me now. At the time, I was too caught up in the rush of my 30s to understand. There's so much we don't understand until it's too late, but I'm here to say I see you and I appreciate the way you carry on so beautifully, doing good in the world with your volunteering and your family, sharing your love and your sorrow through poetry. (PS--thanks for the poem. I needed a good cry this morning!)

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  10. Oh, Linda, this poem is so beautiful and you are so generous to share it in its intimate connection with your grief and your husband's death. I can't believe it's been 11 years. I feel like I can never stop saying, "I'm so sorry you lost him," because you will miss him always. You are an amazing, beautiful soul. xo

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  11. Thank you Patricia, Linda, Mary Lee, & Karen for the sweetest comments. What I do, and perhaps others, too, is live day by day, keep going and loving all that I can, people and nature and what I have to give, to others and to myself, really, too. I still miss Arvie all the time, but was blessed to have him in my life for a long time with both big and little of the happiest memories!

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  12. Linda, may your dear husband feel the sensitivity of your thoughts shared at PF. there is much to remember. May your week be full of the pause so you can relax with your thoughts. The poem chosen for the funeral is a powerful one brought alive by the 100 year-old poet.

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  13. Linda, your love for Arvie always shines so brightly when you write about him. Sharing his poem choice was such a lovely way for you to mark the anniversary and to share with us a bit more insight into him. The poem is so poignant and beautiful and powerful. It will stay with me. Thinking of you and sending a big hug your way.

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  14. Thanks, Carol & Molly. I so appreciate your kind words!

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  15. Sending you love at this time of year - we lost my dad in September, years ago now, and it still aches to think of him. Time changes the nature of grief, and it becomes something we live with, but it never leaves us. We lost him to illness, despite his valiant efforts, but it fills me with such grief and anger when lives are lost so needlessly, to entirely preventable violence. We couldn't prevent my father's death, some cures are still beyond us, but no one should ever half to die because of a weapon, it's truly a tragedy. :'(

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    1. Thank you, Jane, I am sorry to read about your father. It is always hard to say goodbye, and the sadness stays. Memories certainly help! I still can hear my mother's voice saying "hi Linda" in our phone calls. I am so sad about last week's "new" shooting, too. We must do something to change!

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